Chewy’s Book Review of Icefire Trilogy

Chewy pulls off an impressive feat today. He is reviewing an entire trilogy! He originally intended to review each book separately over the course of the weekend, but then overheard his father and I discussing his upcoming visit the Vet on Saturday. This resulted in much angst and overdrawn dramatics, with him worrying that if something bad should happen tomorrow, this review will be his legacy. His LEGACY, people!

 

It’s just your annual check-up, pup. *sigh*

 

Chewy’s Book Review

Man, I love books that keep a dog busy, and the Icefire Trilogy was a book that spoke to a dog’s desires.

 

The book is full of animals. I mean, there are blissfully no dogs at all in this book, so no annoying bitches or pups to share the pleasure of barking at all these creatures.

 

I did take slight offense at the word pups being used to indicate a certain part of a female human’s anatomy, but that’s a small matter.

 

I revelled in the great number of creatures to bark at. OK, the shaggy white bears were a bit vicious, but they were still fun, because they were usually tied to a sled harness, even if the invisible driver creeped me out a bit. But he didn’t seem to be overly interested in me, so I stayed out of his way.

 

Also, I’m not too sure about the eagles. Man, they’re biiiiiiiiiiig. Big enough to take this average-sized dog up in their sharp-taloned paws and shred it to bits. But eagles are aloof things. As long as they stay up there, I’m happy for them to be up there and not down here, if you know what I mean.

 

But the other creatures were a joy. Seagulls! Sea lions! Walruses! Camels! All stupid, wooting, honking, stonking things with puny brains and a massive panic button when dogs are concerned. It was so much fun.

 

And then, the author went and spoiled it all for this dog.

 

Dragons.

 

Seriously? That’s just unfair. How can a poor little dog out-bark the roar of a dragon? And you know how they do this fire-breathing thingie? Well, it’s not good for one’s fur. They tell me that it grows back, but it seems to me that the next few months are going to be reeeaallly long. I don’t understand how the humans do this naked ape thing.

 

I’m going to crawl under the couch and read “The Cat in the Hat”.

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