Chewy’s Book Reviews: Scary Dead Things

Have you ever heard a dog laugh? People think they can’t. But Chewy does. It is this weird “ruuuu ruuu ruuuu” sound when he finds something funny. He was laughing his doggie butt off last night and I couldn’t figure out why. I’d ask him what was so funny and he would just look at me with that stupid one ear up, one ear down confused face he makes. Now I know what he was going on about.
That poor cat…

More about the book at http://rickgualtieri.com

Book Blurb

There are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn’t one of them.



Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity.


One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes that first issue almost seem preferable.


All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask?


Bill’s only hope for survival is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that he’s the scariest dead thing of them all.


Chewy’s Review

This is the second book in a series. The first one is Bill The Vampire, but I didn’t read it. I don’t like vampires.  Now if it had been called Bill The Squirrel that would have been different, but it wasn’t.


Why don’t more people write about squirrels? I like those. Listen up, authors. More squirrels!


Anyway, this book is called Scary Dead Things. I don’t like scary things either, but I do find a lot of dead things in my yard. They’re mostly squirrels. That can be fun, so I figured I’d give this one a shot.



Boy am I glad I did. There’s a chapter near the beginning where a cat get bitten by a vampire, turns into one, and then gets locked into its carrier and left out in the sun.



Let me just say, BEST CHAPTER EVER!



I just kept reading that part over and over again, laughing the entire time. No idea what happens after that, though. I didn’t finish the rest of the book. Oh well, it was probably all downhill from there.

 

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