I’m a bestseller, you’re a bestseller, she’s a bestseller too!

I really need to get better at generating fake excitement about non-achievements.


So I’m on a site I frequent and an author is crowing about how she just cracked the top 1000 on a retail site in the fiction>fantasy>contemporary fantasy category. And she’s thanking everyone for all of their support and in turn everyone is congratulating her with cavity-inducing praise. I think, “WOW, let me check out her book. I read contemporary fantasy. Maybe I’d like it.” I click the link, but the blurb doesn’t appeal to me and instead make a mental note to maybe sample it later. While I’m on the site, I decide to check to see if our newest book is available yet, because there had been a technical glitch on Smashwords that prevented it from getting delivered through distribution immediately.


It’s not there yet, but I decide to do a listing check on some of our other titles to make sure everything is listed correctly. As I’m going through, I realize that one of our titles has a rank in contemporary fantasy almost 300 places BETTER than the author who was celebrating her victory of cracking the top 1000.


Now I’m not one of those people who checks sales reports daily (or hourly), and I don’t really spend a lot of time watching sales ranks on the twenty different sites our books are listed on. But I know what my monthly sales are for this particular title on this particular site. And I realize how very few sales it actually takes to get onto the top 1000 on that site. Long story short, it is an unimpressive number.


Meanwhile, back on the author forum, our OP is now engaged in hang-wringing over whether or not she should add the words “Bestselling” in her promotional materials. And the consensus is that she should totally be proud of her bestseller status and use it to promote her book.


And now I am sitting here thinking, “Damn, I’M A BESTSELLER, TOO!” In fact, every single one of my authors is a bestseller as well. Because each one of them, at some point on one of the sites that I sell on, has been in the top 1000 or less in some category. Heck, Return of the Dead Men (and Women) Walking is currently number 13 on the Kindle Store › Kindle eBooks › Fiction › Short Stories › Last 30 days list. IT’S A BESTSELLER!


Evidence of my Bestseller status. Not only am I a bestseller, I’m a bestseller ON AMAZON! Read it and weep, people!


Yet somehow, promoting that fact almost feels like giving myself an award or proclaiming I am one of the smartest people alive based solely on the declaration of my niece. It’s sweet that she thinks I’m brilliant, but I don’t know if it should qualify as evidence of my place in the intelligentsia hierarchy


But maybe I’m just a cynic. Maybe I should be excited. Maybe actual achievements no longer matter. Only the semblance of achievement. Maybe it is OK that everyone is a “bestseller” because we’re suppose to accept that each of us is a unique little snowflake who should be recognized for achievements even when they are non-achievements.

One Reply to “I’m a bestseller, you’re a bestseller, she’s a bestseller too!”

  1. Pingback: I'm a bestseller, you're a bestseller, she's a bestseller too! « Tales … | icsbookstore.com

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